BOTWCC 2nd XI v Walton

Saturday 29th July 2006 - Towles Fields

The scene was set, the sun was out (for a while) and XI Burton Players came to the ground full of verve and vigor and eager to take scalps in a match against local rivals Walton le Wolds.

Things even started okay when skipper Steve Neal actually won the toss and the opportunity to put the visitors in to bat, which he took. The first of many of the former Burton playing Hayes clan (Louisa) came to the crease with one of a plethora of County players and ringers and the match got under way.

Opening bowlers Grant Penton and Shane Marshall took aim and enjoyed some very interesting bounce on a pitch that had until recently been quite hard and then given a healthy watering the day before, courtesy of some heavy rain. (John Hayes was calling the pitch rubbish in the first over, presumably because he was scared he might get hit if asked to bat).

In his first over Penton had the ball shooting up off a length and missing Lou Hayes's nose by millimeters and eventually hitting her in the norks, suitably softening her up for Marshall's first over who had her caught behind by Steve Neal, the stand-in wicket keeper. Pauline having broken his ankle earlier in the week. The big girl.

Marshall was then replaced by Rob Morley, who enjoyed the first stage of perhaps his best match of the season. In a game where bowlers were being hit to all parts by batsmen better placed in leagues well above ours (it was no surprise here that Hayes brought in a few ringers to make sure he didn't lose the game) Rob bowled very tightly and gave batsmen very little chance to score. Eventually his efforts were rewarded when Walton's other opener (a County player of course) tried to sweep one out of the ground and put it down the throat of the well placed Malc Hood on the square leg boundary.

Penton was replaced by Hood after a spell of firey but sadly fruitless bowling and Hood bowled very well (5 balls out of 6 according to the skipper, like he knows anything about bowling) and completed his 12 over spell also with no reward, but by far the most economic of the bowlers.

By this time another Hayes and a ringer to boot (Matt, who hadn't played for 2 years but chose to play on this day, of all days) had been at the crease for a while, thanks to the run out by Rob Morley of Addison who was left stranded by a colleague who decided not to take a simple run. Shame that.

Penton came back on after the Hood spell and was still enjoying a lot of high bounce but sadly failed to hit the high-scoring Matt Hayes on the beak despite many attempts to do so. The coward kept ducking out of the way and was totally unable to play a single one of them. However, between us he was given enough looser balls to dip his bread into and was scoring quite freely.

Andy Simkin (yes, Sicknote actually played a match) replaced Rob Morley and he had a good 6 over spell (if you ignore his first ball that pitched short enough to take the shine off the toe of his own boots) and was responsible for a key wicket, bowling out one of few real Walton players, Dave Smith in the 40th over.

As the innings drew to a close, a truly wound-up Marshall replaced Penton and Morley replaced Simkin to finish the session. Marshall had a far better spell here showing real grim determination also delivering quick and short stuff at yet another Walton ringer, the Notts pace man N Kenwall, who was slogging everything he could (not very competently as it happened) and finally thick edged one into the outer atmosphere and down into the safe hands of Ali Love. Get off, you show off. Still, he did score 19 runs in 3 overs.

Shane continued his violent spell hitting the Walton batsmen in all parts before the innings came to an end with Matt Hayes not out on 71 (he was lucky) and Walton on 219 for 5.

22 of these were extras, and anything up to 20 of those shouldn't have been. It appears that the Walton Umpires call wide to any ball that is more than 4mm wide of the stumps. A decision he would eventually regret.

After tea, the in-form Mark Russell and his opening compadre Ali Love took to the crease and Sofia Hayes (yes, a girl) bowled 6 wides and eventually got first over done having only been called for bowling two of them. Fair play to her though, she finished with figures of 2 for 17 after her 8 overs.

Mark Russell holed out early for a blob and did some real damage to his average and Ali Love was joined by rich Stenning who decided that Russell's blob was a cool thing to do and went the same way gifting a simple catch to a shot played way to early.

Things started to get interesting now. The match umpires were already getting fed up with appeal after appeal, every bloody ball, and much chirruping from the Walton team on the pitch. Some 'people' didn't stop for a second. God only knows how their skipper managed to draw a breath while actually congratulating his family of average bowlers for delivering a multitude of wides and no-balls. Something he wasn't keen to accept. Eventually, after an indeterminate number of extras John Hayes decided to ask for replacement umpires because too many extras had (rightly) been given.

What the hell is all that about?

The bottom line is, their kiddies and girlies bowled lots of wides and no-balls, but Lord Hayes felt we shouldn't be giving them. Apparently only Walton are allowed to call wides and no-balls these days. And then only to balls that are actually NOT wides or no-balls. Still, we knew he'd do that before the game started. He just wasn't expecting the same treatment in return. Truthfully, we were hoping he'd let Matt Hayes bowl too, as he's always good for 20+ extras from his wild bowling.

And what really infuriated me is that when he asked for new umpires HE BLOODY WELL GOT THEM ! ! He should have been told to shut up, get on with the game and teach his players to bowl legal balls. How in holy hell he got his way and two new umpires is beyond me! (Deep breath, rant over).

Anyway, once his kiddies had played at bad bowling for a while, on came the better bowling firstly of the Notts ringer N Kenwall, who was quite rapid and way faster than anything we'd faced before and the slightly less pacey and but more accurate Dave Smith. Kenwall bowled his short pitched and violent 12 overs for 22 runs and one wicket, while Smith took 3 for 27 including the scalps of Sonny Warne (29), Sicknote (2) and Kev Morley (4).

Anyway, I'm not going to dignify their behavior or performance with another word.

With extras the top scorer on 41 (which should have been more if the 15-20 odd deliveries bouncing a yard above head height had been called wides like they should have been - really lads, umpires need to know the rules) the match was drawn to a close with Burton 164 for 7 after 45 overs. Match drawn.

The key performers for Burton were Sonny Warne who was hit many times at pace and still managed to get a very useful 29 runs, Malc Hood who played comfortably for his 24, but mostly Rob Morley who batted excellently in the face of adversity and some very fast and short bowling from the ringer Kenwall, effectively saving the match and finishing on 36 not out. He was accompanied in the later stages by Shane Marshall who came out helmet-less (the only player who did) and slapped the pace boys about a bit for 10 runs, also not out.

And that's the end of that. I didn't enjoy writing this, nor playing the game. Our team plays cricket to enjoy the experience of team competition and the camaraderie of being with your team mates of a Saturday. Today that was not allowed to happen, which is inexcusable.

Next week away to Hinckley at the SGC and potentially another unfriendly match. Where have all the good times gone?

Report by Grant Penton 30th July 2006

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