BOTWCC 2nd XI v Burbage
Saturday 26th August 2006 - Towles Fields
Okay folks, sorry for the delay, I've been entertaining my brother's kids and Pnut for the last few days and I've finally got time to have a crack at this report. So here goes.
It was a scheduled 1pm start as the winter nights draw in and by some freakish stroke of good fortune all players managed to turn up on time. That is all player barring Sicknote and the traveling Burbage team who seemed to have some difficulty getting to the ground. Anyway, their skipper, the more than amicable Tom Payne happily forfeited the toss and Steve Neal elected to field on this slightly muddy pitch.
Burtons opening bowlers Grant Penton and the returning John Shipman (holidays during the season? for goodness sakes) took the cherry and things finally got under way.
The first to fall was Burbage's Jim Bostock, a particularly enthusiastic fellow, who made his intentions clear from the start and was aiming to hit everything from the outset. He eventually slapped one to extra cover to the waiting hand of Shane Marshall who chose the use of one hand over the customary two, juggled it a few time before finally completing the catch on about the fourth attempt. 14 for 1.
The next man in, Simpkin, no relation to Sicknote, continued the wild swinging theme and although slightly more successfully fell for just 13 after parrying another catch, this time to Ali Love at square leg who made his efforts look simple and sent the lad packing. 33 for 2.
Shippo's bowling showed the usual discipline in line and length and the newcomer lasted just 3 balls before nicking one to the safe hands of Mark Russell at 1st slip. Three catches out of three? Even we were shocked at this and Mark Russell wisely commented on the virtues of pre-match catching practice, however comical it can sometimes be and how such team extravagances can pay off. 35 for 3.
Looking back at the first leg at Burbage, Burton had bowled well on that day too and the youthful exuberance of Burbage had pretty much self destructed in their bid to up the run tally, and by this stage of today's game Burton were potentially looking that the same kind of performance. But history rarely repeats itself, does it?
The other Burbage opener, S Grocock, had enjoyed a slightly more controlled spell at the crease and despite his cow corner swipes off Penton's bowling finally gave it up after gifting yet another (yes, a fourth catch) to the hands of Ali Love. This time off the bowling of Andy Sicknote Simkins, who had replaced Penton at this stage. 41 for 4.
Next man in, A Martin, look slightly uncomfortable in front of the stumps and did very little before he departed for a blob to yet another catch to a Burton fielder. Hearts were in mouths here though when the ball was edged towards backward point and the awaiting hands of Penton running in from gulley. Could this be 5 catches? Most people expected not, given the fielding recipient but Penton did not disappoint on this occasion and another Burbage bat left the field. 42 for 5.
Shippo was still turning his ailing arm over well from the Towles Fields Road end and with the Burbage attack now decimated, he smelled blood. Burbage had enjoyed their longest partnership of 7 overs exactly before the clubs bowling supremo enforced another error from the unlucky T Hartlett. He had a wild swipe at one that didn't need swiping and clipped the ball high in the air towards backward square leg. Another catch? Surely Burton couldn't take 6 out of 6 catches on the same day! Especially when it was the still shell-shocked Penton standing underneath it. Oh well, 5 out of 5 is still pretty good and the way Burbage were throwing it away, they would get this lad soon enough.
BUT NO! Penton stood firm and took the catch with ease, much to the shock and delight of both Shippo and the rest of the Burton XI. Penton fell to the ground in shock in a true 1970's Carry-on style faint but soon got up again when he heard Shane Marshall shout "PILE UP". 6 caches out of 6 and Burbage were now 61 for 6.
Shippo finally ended his 12 over spell (12-4-20-3) and was replaced by Rob Morley, eager to get in to the action. And he didn't have to wait long either. L Kalquist had been at the crease for a few overs but he couldn't resist having an untimely slog at Rob Morley and scooped one right up into the the air.
Time stood still for a moment. Who was going for this one? Penton? Not this time, he was thanking his lucky stars it wasn't coming his way, knowing that 3 catches in the same game was slightly less than likely. Ali Love? He was in the vicinity. Shane Marshall? He too was in a position to take it. Could this be another multiple pile-up of Neal/Creasey proportions from earlier in the season? Bodies everywhere and the ball on the floor?
Not his time. Rob Morley shouted his name very clearly and positioned himself underneath the ball just returning from orbit and ignoring Marshall's attempts at rugby tackling him. He wanted it. He needed just one catch to get ahead of Tagg in the catches table. Down came the ball, covered in a slight smattering of snow and Morley held it with ease.
7 out of 7 catches in one game? What the hell was going on? Burbage were now 66 for 7.
Adam Archer, fresh from enduring one of life's regularly encountered mishaps, he'd just got married, the poor deluded man, had taken the end of Sicknote who presumably was hurting a bit and needed a lie down, and despite Archer's desperate attempts at dislodging his own spinal chord, also got into the action. Archer was spinning it quite happily and causing some difficulty, but eventually batsman J Rose got the chance to hit one on the off side and larruped the ball quite fiercely in the air to the covers. Shane Marshall, on this occasion elected to use two hands, recognizing that using one would have (a) broke his hand and (b) cost him the use of his genitals for some considerable time. And there it was. 8 out of 8 catches and Burbage were flailing on 72 for 8.
Could this be an unheard of 10 catch game? Had it ever been done in this league? Surely not. But somebody had to spoil the party. There's always one killjoy and today's was Rob Morley who decided not to take any chances and hit the stumps. That's right. The stumps were finally brought into proceedings as M Johnson missed a swinging spinning peach and watched his middle peg take a bruising. 81 for 9.
Burbage batsman, R Kalquist, daddy of the previously mentioned L, had tried top steady the ship, perhaps a bit too late in the game though. Having come in at number 8 and hit a much needed 12 runs he eventually gave Rob Morley his 3rd scalp trying to take the leather off a ball with none left on it and lobbed the ball out to mid-on and into the waiting hands of John 'I want to be involved in everything' Shipman. I know ! 9 catches out of 9 chances. Not ONE dropped.
Burbage were all out for 82 after just 33.1 overs.
No tea was taken as Burbage had 11 overs to bowl before league rules allowed the fatso's the chance to stodge up.
Steve Neal and Mark Russell went out to get the 2nd innings under way with the main task being not to lose a wicket before tea was taken. After 9.5 over though this little sub-plot was dashed when Neal gifted a catch to M Johnson off the bowling of now extremely enthusiastic Jim Bostock. 24 for 1.
With Sicknote and Russell at the crease, after 11 overs with 10 wickets remaining it was time to leave the field and enjoy some of Rob Morley's home grown produce. Very nice it was too.
Post-choff, the game recommenced and Burton set their sights on a much needed victory at this key stage of the season. Lets us not forget that if promotion is likely, with Walton 6 points ahead in the league, Burton had to secure two wins from the last two games to have a chance, hoping that the Waltons dropped 6 points in the last 2 weeks.
Sicknote was clearly uninterested in this fact and after 13.3 overs gave his wicket away with an easy catch (i say that it was easy, I can't remember) off the bowling of a slightly less noisy M Johnson. With Russell doing similar (albeit for a useful 22) just a couple of overs later, Burton were now at the hands of the newest and possibly youngest members of the club, Ali Love and S Leak, needing 45 runs to win the match.
Both these lads held firm. Despite a few unusual shots early in their spell, the boys composed themselves well and played some lovely shots to all parts, running twos aplenty. Something only people of this age seem prepared to do. They took their time and enjoyed a 13 over partnership and duly completed the task that was asked of them.
And in over number 30 the winning runs were hit through the covers, where else, and the match was won. Well done to Messers Leak and Love. God bless'em.
So, 24 points were Burtons and a good tempered match was enjoyed by all.
Here's hoping Walton didn't get maximum points and don't next week either. Sadly (we hear) Walton did win today but did not take maximum points. Next week Walton are away at Thornton for what should be an easy win for them (sorry to be harsh Thornton, but ringers are a certainty) while Burton are away at Sapcote.
Maximum points are a must here lads.
Lets 'ave em!
Match report by Grant Penton 30-8-06
League Match Burton on the Wolds 2nd Eleven v Burbage 2nd Eleven
|
|
|
|
Burbage
2nd Eleven
|
|
82 all out
(33.1 overs)
|
83 for 3
(29.1 overs)
|
|
|
|
|
Burbage
2nd Eleven
|
Batsman
|
|
|
Runs
|
Balls
|
Mins
|
4s
|
6s
|
S/r
|
J Bostock
|
c
|
b G Penton
|
6
|
20
|
19
|
0
|
0
|
30.00
|
|
c A Love
|
b A Simkins
|
19
|
37
|
47
|
3
|
0
|
51.35
|
C Simpkin+
|
c A Love
|
b J
Shipman
|
13
|
18
|
16
|
0
|
1
|
72.22
|
J Larsen
|
c M
Russell
|
b J
Shipman
|
1
|
3
|
3
|
0
|
0
|
33.33
|
A Martin
|
c G Penton
|
b A Simkins
|
0
|
15
|
18
|
0
|
0
|
0.00
|
L Kalquist
|
c and b
|
R Morley
|
16
|
34
|
38
|
2
|
0
|
47.06
|
T Hartlett
|
c G Penton
|
b J
Shipman
|
7
|
26
|
22
|
0
|
0
|
26.92
|
R Kalquist
|
c J
Shipman
|
b R Morley
|
12
|
26
|
36
|
1
|
0
|
46.15
|
J Rose
|
c S
Marshall
|
b A Archer
|
2
|
5
|
10
|
0
|
0
|
40.00
|
M Johnson
|
|
b R Morley
|
2
|
12
|
9
|
0
|
0
|
16.67
|
T Payne*
|
not out
|
|
0
|
3
|
6
|
0
|
0
|
0.00
|
Extras
|
0nb 0w 1lb
3b 0pen
|
4
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Total
|
82
|
for 10
|
|
|
|
|
||
Bowler
|
O
|
M
|
R
|
W
|
Wd
|
Nb
|
S/r
|
Econ
|
G Penton
|
6.0
|
1
|
21
|
1
|
0 (0)
|
0 (0)
|
36.00
|
3.50
|
J Shipman
|
12.0
|
4
|
20
|
3
|
0 (0)
|
0 (0)
|
24.00
|
1.67
|
A Simkins
|
5.0
|
1
|
9
|
2
|
0 (0)
|
0 (0)
|
15.00
|
1.80
|
A Archer
|
6.0
|
0
|
26
|
1
|
0 (0)
|
0 (0)
|
36.00
|
4.33
|
R Morley
|
4.1
|
2
|
2
|
3
|
0 (0)
|
0 (0)
|
8.33
|
0.48
|
Batsman
|
Fall of
Wicket
|
Partnership
|
Batsmen
|
Over
|
J Bostock
|
14-1
|
14
|
J Bostock (6) S Grocock (7)
|
6.3
|
C Simpkin
|
33-2
|
19
|
C Simpkin (13) S Grocock (5)
|
11.1
|
J Larsen
|
35-3
|
2
|
J Larsen
(1) S Grocock (1)
|
11.5
|
S Grocock
|
41-4
|
6
|
S Grocock (6) A Martin (0)
|
14.1
|
A March
|
42-5
|
1
|
A March (0) L Kalquist (1)
|
16.6
|
T Hartlett
|
61-6
|
19
|
T Hartlett (7) L Kalquist (11)
|
23.6
|
L Kalquist
|
66-7
|
5
|
L Kalquist (4) R Kalquist (1)
|
25.5
|
J Rose
|
72-8
|
6
|
J Rose (2)
R Kalquist (3)
|
28.4
|
M Johnson
|
81-9
|
9
|
M Johnson
(2) R Kalquist (7)
|
31.6
|
R Kalquist
|
82-10
|
1
|
T Payne
(0) R Kalquist (1)
|
33.1
|
Burton
on the Wolds 2nd Eleven
|
Batsman
|
|
|
Runs
|
Balls
|
Mins
|
4s
|
6s
|
S/r
|
S Neal*
|
c M
Johnson
|
b J Bostock
|
5
|
33
|
34
|
0
|
0
|
15.15
|
M Russell
|
c C Simpkin
|
b M
Johnson
|
22
|
47
|
61
|
2
|
0
|
46.81
|
A Simkins
|
c S Grocock
|
b R Kalquist
|
5
|
12
|
16
|
1
|
0
|
41.67
|
A Love+
|
not out
|
|
24
|
52
|
51
|
0
|
0
|
46.15
|
S Leak
|
not out
|
|
19
|
30
|
40
|
1
|
0
|
63.33
|
R Morley
G Penton
J Shipman
S Shipman
A Archer
Extras
|
DNB
DNB
DNB
DNB
DNB
DNB
0nb 4w 0lb
4b 0pen
|
8
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Total
|
83
|
for 3
|
|
|
|
|
||
Bowler
|
O
|
M
|
R
|
W
|
Wd
|
Nb
|
S/r
|
Econ
|
T Payne
|
7.0
|
2
|
15
|
0
|
0 (0)
|
0 (0)
|
0.00
|
2.14
|
J Bostock
|
6.0
|
0
|
22
|
1
|
3 (3)
|
0 (0)
|
39.00
|
3.67
|
M Johnson
|
7.0
|
2
|
15
|
1
|
0 (0)
|
0 (0)
|
42.00
|
2.14
|
R Kalquist
|
7.0
|
1
|
19
|
1
|
0 (0)
|
0 (0)
|
42.00
|
2.71
|
J Rose
|
2.0
|
0
|
7
|
0
|
1 (1)
|
0 (0)
|
0.00
|
3.50
|
T Hartlett
|
0.1
|
0
|
1
|
0
|
0 (0)
|
0 (0)
|
0.00
|
6.00
|
Batsman
|
Fall of
Wicket
|
Partnership
|
Batsmen
|
Over
|
S Neal
|
24-1
|
24
|
S Neal (5)
M Russell (17)
|
9.5
|
A Simkins
|
34-2
|
10
|
A Simkins (5) M Russell (3)
|
13.3
|
M Russell
|
38-3
|
4
|
M Russell
(2) A Love (0)
|
16.4
|
Team news...
Mark (still trying to claw it back) Russell
Steve (I got a bat!) Neal
Andy (i'm missing golf for this shit) Simkins
John (got to protect my averages) Shipman
Sam (got to catch Dad's averages) Shipman
Grant (f**k the averages) Penton
Ali (sshhh) Love
Rob (Burton's own 2-Jags, but with BMWs) Morley
Shane (must. bowl. fast. aaaah!) Marshall
Simon (have you had a hair cut?) Leak
Adam (this married life ain't what it's cracked up to be) Archer
Tune in for more tediously unfunny name references next week...